You made me cry and you don't even care
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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