Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
