Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
