yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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