she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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