Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
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