Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
