I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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