STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Randomize
