I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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