I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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