just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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