Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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