No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Randomize
