My nipple is on Facebook.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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