Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
