the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
