yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I have fence marks all over my body
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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