How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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