it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
