Nicole vs. Life
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
