her vagine was all disorganized.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
