She said her name was "party"
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
