Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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