O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
