Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
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