So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
