We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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