Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize