I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
