I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
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