Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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