Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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