When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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