I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize