At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
