Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Randomize
