I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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