rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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