We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
