I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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