i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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