it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
