My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Randomize
