i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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