have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
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