Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Randomize
