Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Buhtt sex?
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
