I wanna passion pit in your ass
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Randomize
