Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Randomize
