Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
