i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
