You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i dont even know how to be here
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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