I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
