Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
