Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
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