Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
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