he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
