Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
