I just cut my nipple shaving
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Randomize
