haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
