No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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