so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
