Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize