a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
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