his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
