he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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